Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Lazy, Rainy Summer Day

It's been a lazy, rainy summer day.  I spent the morning on the porch finishing A Book By Its Cover, the fifth book in the Guideposts series I am reading called Secrets of Mary's Bookshop.  I previously wrote a review about the first book in the series and intend to share my opinions about the others soon. 

Anakin lounging on the pillows enjoying the lazy, rainy day
Anakin lounging on the pillows enjoying the lazy, rainy day

I love spending these quiet times alone with my thoughts or a good book, and my furry companion, Ani, makes serene moments complete. 

Mother and I had a good back-and-forth going this morning on Angry Birds Friends.  It's always fun when I think I've bested her and then I log in to see she's topped me again.  She texted me to let me know she had done just that.  She had a doctor's appointment but she had time to chat with me about the new book I started immediately after finishing the last one, Agatha Christie's Five Complete Hercule Poirot Novels which includes Thirteen at Dinner, Murder on the Orient Express, The ABC Murders, Cards on the Table, and Death on the Nile.  I'd never read an Agatha Christie novel but of course I've heard of her and after picking up this hardback at a local Friends of the Library used bookstore, I was anxious to get immersed.  Mother also had time before she headed home from the city where her doctor's appointment was to let me know that she was in the drive-through at our most favorite barbeque joint, Sonny's.  I haven't been there in many years because the closest location is about 4 hours from my house, so she was kinda rubbing it in that she was having Sonny's for lunch.  It made my lunch of boxed mac 'n cheese seem heinously unappetizing by comparison.

While walking by our large front window, I noticed a little butterfly perched tenuously on a bright pink thistle blossom.  I ran out to snap a pic.

Swallowtail Butterfly Papilioninae on a pink Thistle blossom
Swallowtail Butterfly Papilioninae on a pink Thistle blossom

And that's why I carry my phone everywhere I go.

Every time I got on a social media site today and yesterday, I saw news about the suicide of Robin Williams.  I have always been afraid to enjoy comedians' work because I feel most of them are haunted by pain and tragedy and that is the source for their comedy.  I am particularly reminded of the life and death of Andy Kaufman, John Belushi, and Chris Farley and comedians like Jim Carrey and Robin Williams always give me chill just when I want to laugh most.  I swear I can see the pain behind the smile and it hurts me. 

A high school acquaintance of mine recently committed suicide as well.  Mother told me that her friend died this morning.  After a death there are memorials, heartfelt messages of compassion and love, support for family, and kind gestures.  Those words of gratitude, appreciation, love, or shared moments are words that every person longs to hear.  So why aren't they shared with friends and family while they are still alive? How many suicides would be thwarted if people were as outspoken about their support, love and tenderness toward each other everyday instead of just the days after a death?  How many accident victims would spend their last moments knowing they were loved and were meaningful in others' lives?  I have had depression...or rather, depression had me, and during the worst times the only friend I had was my husband.  I wonder if I were to die today, would there be an outpouring of love and affection that has been unbeknownst to me for these decades in which I've needed friendly help.  Sure, I have tons of social media "friends", mostly old school-mates or co-workers, but the last time I got a phone call from a friend was...about three years ago.  And he called because he needed help from me.  As hard as it is for me, I still initiate connections time and time again without friendly return. 
Maybe I should become a comedian......

I have been praying for my brother, Jordan, who is going through some medically, financially, and emotionally trying times and after this morning's prayer for him, Mother texted me to let me know that my husband's father, Roger, who lives near Jordan, stopped by to help him fix his vehicle which was currently nonoperational in a parking lot.  It was just one of the things I had prayed about; I wanted God to make clear to him his own strength and ability to help himself so that he could use the resources around him to steer himself out of the muck his life has been sliding into.  I am so thankful for my father-in-law who had asked my husband how my brother had been doing and upon hearing of the problem with his car, took the time and effort to help him get it fixed enough to get it home.  Despite the hardships in his own life, he always takes time to help others, God bless him.

I had sent Jordan a Bible verse yesterday as a bit of inspiration:

2 Timothy 1:7
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

I wanted to remind him to give his worries to God and that He has provided what he'd need to pull through....and that we loved him.

I hope I have made the people in my life feel the love that I have for them.    

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